Hey, so, um pretty obviously, it’s been awhile. But in my defense I’m working on a thesis and grad school stuff and jobs and you know, awful real life business, plus, Panic broke up and there were no new pictures of Jon and Spencer holding hands to tempt me back. But I got a comment recently on the domestepic (aka Sometimes I Long to be Landlocked) from realatomicx who suggested something too deliciously amazing to pass up, then I found myself covering a co-worker’s shift from 11pm to 1am and, well, this happened. I guess it’s like a mini-epilogue or something. Or, like, a reason to talk about how great Bobby Flay is.

All you need to know is that it’s about five years after the first part leaves off and Throwdown is an amazing show on Food Network where Bobby Flay tracks down people who are great at making a certain thing and tries to prove he can make it better, and he usually doesn’t win because it’s just for fun, but he’ll kick your ass in Iron Chef because he’s great.

Unbetaed and ill-advised as it is, I present to you, Sweet Chai Pie, or:

( PIES! at the Disco )

1. wtf is this movie coming out about dudes in a cheerleading camp? I feel like I probably need to see it because my knowledge of cheerleading is super limited and Bring It On will only get me so far...
2. do I or do I not come home to go see Fall Out Boy in April? who else from the Maryland/DC area will be there? because if it's all twelve year olds I'll probably kill myself. maybe I'll go incognito. but I'd still be easy to spot; I'll be the hipster loitering in the back, wearing sunglasses and a ridiculous coat with the collar up, chainsmoking and making nasty comments to myself... or drowning in my own drool, staring at Patrick. maybe both.

HEY! insomnia = meme!

Comment with a story I've written, and I will tell you something about the story that didn't make it onto the page.

most of them are, like, half the length that they started out as in my head, so this is something I always kind of wondered... do people notice the missing pieces or is my bfl (beta/boo-for-life) actually always right after all?

I will tell you right now that there were originally about three pages of the domestepic entirely devoted to Jon and Spencer's laundry habit.

BEST. SINGLE LADIES. VIDEO. EVAR.

Consider this a preview for the upcoming cheer epic.

idk, you guys, I had a really weird day and now I can't sleep and I'm sick and stressed out and - well, it's basically a lot of complaining about small things so I won't bore you with it, but you know what happens when you can't sleep and have internet access... meaning I totally broke a promise to myself and did this:

love please? I could use it.

also, I am okay with you lying to make me feel better about myself. REALLY.

other than that, my insomnia is giving me a good excuse to enjoy my guilty pleasures:
1. chainsmoking out the window of my childhood home
2. listening to this stupid wonderful album
3. writing about two dudes in a ridiculous band who are ridiculous (guess who)

I hope everyone had a good holiday and isn't out burning copies of blender in the street! it would be very late on a school night for that kind of behavior, my babies.

"Thanks a fucking lot, Mom & Dad."

(Guys, this is why Pete is sometimes the favorite. Oh, Pete!)

Hello, hello, it's another faily message from yours truly.

Faily, because it is mostly to say that I fail. /o\ <-- me, failing.

Basically, I know I have promised companion pieces/sequels to the football au and the domestEPIC, but as I'm sure all of you are aware, November is NaNoWriMo and I decided to play along at pretty much the last minute so I've been kind of swamped with that, an then after that it moves into the en of the semester and finals and all that stuff and THEN it moves into me-starting-a-new-job-I'm-actually-really-stoked-about so... Yeah. No idea when these things are going to happen, but there ARE going to happen! Hopefully. Maybe. SIGH.

(pst, I feel a little weird about this, but at the same time I want to point at something and say "see! see! I AM doing SOMETHING, okay!" so my NaNo is runbarbararun and um, yes, it's about Run Barbara Run. Obviously. okay.)

Good news is HEY, we're so close to the holidays! This is my favorite time of year! There should really be more fics about how Pete Wentz agrees with me (because I feel like he would).

Just to get you all in the mood, here is one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

YAY.

Okay, so I figured this journal would be as good a place as any to consolidate all my fics from the last few years. (The real reason is because I wanted to use the website link from my journal for something else. Whatever.)





( bandom )

( supernatural )

( other )

It has come to my attention that I am totally vanilla when it comes to my pairings.

And I am. I really, really am. I do not deny this. See, the thing is, I don't write a lot of bandom porn. I just don't. And the reason for that is the same as the reason I basically only ship Pete/Patrick, Jon/Spencer, Gerard/Frank, and will TOLERATE Brendon/Ryan. (The only reason I don't go full out for Brendon/Ryan is because, frankly, I am still a recovering Ross-hater. And we're not going to talk about this freaky habit I am developing of imagining Greta and Chuck Bass having beautiful FUCKED UP babies, because it is clearly the exception that proves the rule. Or a fluke. Yeah, a fluke. Let's go with that.)

You see, I do not come here for the sexing. Nope! In fact, you know what, I have never been in a fandom for the sexing. True facts!* See, most of the time it's something else that draws me in, like the world (Supernatural, Heroes, Firefly, Harry Potter - MAN, THE TIME I TRIED TO WRITE PORN FOR HARRY POTTER, I weep for my fifteen year old self), the angst (The OC and OH, SUPERNATURAL, you always bring me the good stuff), or the banter (Bones, Jackass - hell YEAH, I wrote Jackass fic, and probably you will never ever find it). No, guys, for me bandom is all about their fucking FACES. Their faily little FACES. I have honestly never encountered such a pack of dorkwads in all my life. It warms my heart, it really does.

So I don't want to distract from their utter gooberability with blowjobs flying everywhichway (though anyone who knows me at all knows that I, like Bill Clinton, am an advocate of the blowjob as art form and firmly believe that it has a place and time in every person's life) and I don't want to waste time figuring out ways that Joe Trohman meets, I don't know, Lil Bow Wow and they fall in love in regency England. Guys, why should I go through the effort of making up something so elaborate when it just takes a little step or two to turn these dudes' fail-filled lives into a gay goldmine?? Man, I'm lazy as shit. I'm gonna let these guys write it for me. (Like the one time I thought, "Hey, you know what? I should totally write Alex James/Damon Albarn" and then I realized, oh no, wait, that's already been done, and it's called Alex James's autobiography.) So, you know, other writers with stronger work ethics than myself are free to take on these challenges, but I'm sitting it out.

This is not to say I don't appreciate crazy crossover AUs, because I do. And this is REALLY not to say that I don't appreciate porn because that would be an enormous FIB.

No, this is the long way of saying NO, your__design, I will NOT write porn about Guy Ripley and Hemmy and you cannot make me.

(The short way is: I condone a lot of things, but bestiality really is not one of them.)

*You know what, I just realized that this is untrue. There was a period of time I wrote what can only be called World Cup porn. I AM NOT PROUD OF THE THINGS I HAVE DONE.

And now I really have to be getting back to this essay I'm supposed to be writing. An essay that is SO NOT ABOUT GUY RIPLEY FUCKING PETE'S DOG THAT I HAVE DIFFICULTY FINDING STRONG ENOUGH WORDS TO EMPHASIZE THAT FACT.

It's five am and I should really be thinking of something more constructive. But really, my dearest, all I can think is that this argument stems from us not seeing eye to eye on Evening Out With Your Girlfriend and Take This To Your Grave. T-Rex, we were not meant to beeeeeee! :(

What up, what up, I made a playlist. This is mostly just to justify my usage of songs I really like in Sometimes I Long To Be Landlocked, I admit it. Whatever! You get free shit, I don’t see how you lose in this deal. My only warning is that, apparently, my idea of domesticity sounds incredibly like Matt Berninger. That said, I present to you To Work In A Bakery, a cute little mini playlist of some of the songs that are referenced or quoted in The DomestEPIC.



( to work in a bakery )

Okay, so this domestic thing…

I’m gonna lay some honesty on y’all here: this took me a long time and came out way longer than expected, and I still think that NO ONE WANTS TO READ IT BUT ME. Seriously. What follows is completely self-indulgent. (But then again, this is the internet, so, pretty much everything is self-indulgent.) Regardless, I am a little bit fond of it, and if you don’t like cookies, cuddles, kitties and Christmas miracles, you really should not read the following.

OH, I really just apologize, guys. For real. I don’t know what came over me. I swear, I’m usually a really bitter person. Ask anyone.

(PS: Bobby Flay is a god. FACT.)
(PPS: I also really, sincerely apologize for Run Barbara Run. That maybe-novel-thing I keep talking about? Yeah, it might have something to do with them. They are my little babies and I want to put them in everything and I just. can’t. stop. Okay? Okay.)
(PPPS: Okay, last thing, for real this time. There are a lot of awesome songs mentioned or referred to in this fic so I made a mini playlist. It’s here if you want it.)

Title: Sometimes I Long To Be Landlocked
Author: tremblings
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jon/Spencer
Word Count: 22,000 +
Disclaimer: This is a pack of dirty lies.
Summary: Panic breaks up and Spencer has an existential crisis that results in muffins.
“Wow,” Tom says, “Jon, I feel like you moved in with Martha Stewart, but, like, less scary.”
Spencer glares at him.
“Maybe a little bit scary,” Tom says.
Author’s Notes: This wound up being much longer and more involved than I ever expected it to be, but at its heart it is still just a goofy story about how Spencer Smith’s secret dream is to be the world’s greatest housewife and to marry Jon Walker. Thanks to your__design and ___leonine for being the most patient betas in the world. I owe you guys some cookies.

( It was a mutual decision, really, when Panic broke up. )

Good news you guys! The DomestEPIC is finished and has a title and has officially been sent off to beta! It's a long-ass motherfucker, though, so give it a couple weeks.

I suck for taking so long with this. Sorry! Part of the hold up was me accidentally MELTING part of my keyboard off (do not type while smoking, just don’t) which resulted in me breaking my “d” and “s” keys, so that now I have to copy/paste them whenever I want them. And guys, I don’t know if you noticed, but there are a LOT of words with d and s! But the other thing is that I apparently have a problem with bandom.

The problem with writing in bandom, for me at least, is that I get distracted. I keep flitting from story to story, which I never did in any other fandom I’ve written for, and what’s worse is I’m always coming up with even WEIRDER ideas that I then have to talk myself out of. (Sometimes, I do not succeed. This is when Spencer-is-a-mermaid fics happen.) Like right now, I need to be told – very firmly! – not to write a story about MECHA PILOTS. I have serious collegiate business to attend to, but I can’t stop thinking about Panic fighting aliens in giant robot suits. (Pete would be their general!) As much as this entertains me, I can’t let myself take it further, seriously. I’ll never finish it and it will just upset me. This means that SOMEONE ELSE should write it. Just saying.

ANYWAY, as further penance for my suckiness, here's some more of the sequel to "Football Is The Gayest Profession..." Don't say I never gave you anything!

( this ain't a democracy it's a goddamn cheerocracy )

When I said I was working on stuff really obnoxiously slowly, I wasn't lying. I really do feel awful, though! (See, I am even using my hiding!Pete icon to convey my shame.) But I want you to know the following:

1. The Jon/Spencer DomestEPIC (which still doesn't have a name) is 15000+ right now.
2. It should be done within the month. (But, um, don't hold me to that.)
3. The Folie a Deux cover? Awesome, if incorrect. But in their defense, they can't say it, why should they be able to spell it?

And on a more serious note, AMERICANS OVER THE AGE OF 18: If you have not registered to vote yet, I recommend you GET ON THAT SHIT PRONTO. November 4th is not just the day we all put heatwaves in our pants, it is the day we elect a new president. (And on a personal note: Barack Obama not only puts a heatwave in my pants, he puts GLOBAL WARMING in my pants. For democracy, I mean...) No, really, in all seriousness, BIG ELECTION, you guys. Read up on it, think about it, and VOTE. Or Pete Wentz will find you and speak French at you.

Since I'm so terrible at this whole 'finishing things promptly' deal, I will gift you with the gift of song. To be specific, my 2008 Election Song, which may or may not have something to do with this amazing shirt that I would totally buy if I were not so poor.


Mr. November by The National
My Mediafire Folder
^ this also has a bunch of random covers, including MCR's cover of Fortunate Son and Goat's cover of Sugar, We're Going Down, in case you do not hold with my indie snobbery and want something more bandom-flavored

Hopefully, I'll have something more having to do with muffins and epic gayness for you soon, but until then, this will have to suffice.

Weird. I think the more I like a band's music the less inclined I am to write about their dicks. Why so good, Empires? And if you're going to be so good, could you be less, I don't know, hot maybe? Slashable? Please?

To the point: I just wanted to let y'all know that I am working on stuff. Just, you know, really, really, really obnoxiously slowly. And I'm also writing a maybe-novel right now, so, you know there's that. But I am working on three different stories right now, all of which I expect to be finished before the end of the summer, though they're all looking like they're going to be kind of ridiculously lengthy.

But since it might be awhile before I post anything substantial, I thought I'd post some snippets for you from each of them, so maybe you will see something you like and help your__design help me to get cracking on this stuff. (She keeps trying to inspire me with tequila, which has worked in the past, but these days seems to devolve into us watching zombie movies with the sound off, doing weird voices.)

( the hummingbird repair kit - wristcutters au - gerard/frank )

( the domestEPIC (working title) - post-band au - jon/spencer )

( this ain't a democracy it's a goddamn cheerocracy (working title) - high school au ('football is the gayest...' sequel) - ryan/brendon (jon/spencer, pete/patrick, frank/gerard) )

... Hi there. Long time no post, huh?

Oh, I could load you with a bunch of excuses and reasons, but I know you came for the porny parts, so let's just skip to that, shall we?

So, um, awhile - what, three months ago maybe? – I wrote two parts of this story about Jon Walker, Spencer Smith, dry-humping and blowjobs. There were no blowjobs. Until now.

So, so, so sorry for the delay. RL is kind of a bitch, it turns out. I was going to post this yesterday, but then I remembered it was fathers' day and... it did not seem appropriate. At all.

Title: They Should Know We Are Impatient (Part III)
Author: tremblings
Rating: R
Word Count: 2400
Summary: Jon Walker had still not gotten a blowjob.
Disclaimer: This is a pack of dirty lies.
Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first two parts and waited around for a ridiculously long time to read the third (and final). Special thanks to your__design, who beta'd all of three, and _ed_is_dead_ for helping with the third. You probably need to read They Should Know We Are Impatient (I and II) first.

( there will be blowjobs )

Apparently this is floating around? And I feel bad that I keep promising to do shit and then, um, not doing it? But I have finals, okay? And I'm job-searching right now, and I'm sick! [/whines] Whatever, I'm begging your forgiveness with these 10 drabbles. I might post the songs later, if people want them and I find some time.

You guys know the rules to this one, right?

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.

Um, obviously I picked Jon/Spencer. There's a little bit of naughtiness under the cut, but you're big girls and boys, you can take it.

( there's only one thing that I wanna do to you )

I know I've been promising all these sequels and companion pieces and whatever, but I have been roped into this intense side-project that I'm calling "The Jon/Spencer DomestEPIC" and I can't seem to focus on anything else. I've been working on this Frank/Gerard AU for fucking EVER but all I want to do now is write about pancakes. I don't know!

Point being, the third part to They Should Know We Are Impatient is coming up soon (subtitled 'There Will Be Blowjobs' so no worries there), but in the meantime, GUYS. All this drama about the potential of another little Wentz coming into the world. Let's all chill. It's supposedly 'confirmed' now, but US Weekly isn't exactly a reliable source. Let's just say if this kid is for real, (s)he is going to be rolling in money and self-esteem issues and leave it at that.

In other news, Gerard Way wins my personal award for favorite human ever because of this moment. Oh, Gerard...

So I'm not sure if this is a fic or just a weird e-mail, but, whatever, your__design promised to do unspeakable things for me if I posted it.

This all stemmed from a conversation we had through e-mail after reading a bandomsecret post. (Specifically, it was this hilarious secret, which is still one of my all-time faves.) I honestly do not know what kind of crack we're on or where you can get some. Seriously, what?

Um, warnings for a little slash, I guess? I don't even know. Also, when I wrote it I did it kind of in Brendon's POV, if Brendon was pretending to write it in some outsider's POV? Does that make sense? Oh, fuck it.

( a rebuttal? maybe? )

Guys. The line about the beard! WHAT.

Who is this mysterious guitar playing man, and can he please be my best friend??

your__design and I had the most insane volley of Greek/bandom crossover related text messages today. I was just looking over them and, this might be all the NyQuil I just took talking, but I don't see how "vesuvius can blow me" makes much sense at all. (Because if you saw that episode you would know that Vesuvius totally deserves your respect!)

I have a six day vacation and I'm spending it on campus, but Rock Band is gone and marathons of The OC, Greek and zombie movies (one of these things is not like the others...) are all that stands in my way of finishing up those companion pieces I'm working on, so, hey, maybe I'll have something new for y'all to look at soon.

In the meantime, this video is still awesome.